RTL2ASC
by fierysuzaku
Summary: the title stands for: Rivalz takes Lelouch to a strip club... that all you need to know...NO YAOI...


**RTL2ASC**

(Rivalz Takes Lelouch To A Strip Club)

_ Rivalz __**is**__ your friend._ The thought echoed in resonance like a mantra as the young raven-haired genius tried to grasp the reality he found himself in.

The loud pounding music.

Throbbed along with his growing migraine.

The smell of tobacco and sweat.

Made him want to puke.

The drunken slurs of lust.

Gave him the sudden desire to wring the neck of certain too happy-go-lucky boy beside him.

"What have I gotten myself into." he muttered as he recalled agreeing to Rivalz's suggestion of having fun.

_This is __**not **__fun!_ The statement screamed in his head like a blaring siren just as his friend shoved another bottle of beer through his lips.

"Here you go buddy! Drink up!" exclaimed the near-drunken boy who was blushing from seer ecstasy.

The slightly sober teen involuntary drank the spilled amber liquid trying vainly to ignore the bitter aftertaste as the rest of the contents were spilled on the floor, unnoticed by the club's occupants. Actually, he managed to finish more than a couple of bottles when his companion finally lost it and began cheering for the show to begin.

It was right there and then that all hell broke loose.

* * *

"COME ON BABY! SHAKE THAT BOOTY!" the throng of drunks and perverts along with Rivalz cheered and yelled as the masked blond dancer began to sway her hips and lift her legs for the entire world to see.

_LEAVE __**NOW**__!!! _His mind demanded and alarmed as the temptation of leaving his friend unattended entered his mind but the remains of his already darkened conscience was painfully reminding him of his promise to the idiot.

* * *

_** "Aw, man! What do you mean you can't? You promised!" whined the blue-haired boy through the phone.**_

_** "I'm sorry Rivalz. Something came up, I'll make it up to you. Promise." He said cutting to the chase not wanting to explain to the boy.**_

_** "Really?! Okay! How about the two of us go out and have some fun next weekend!" said the noticeably cheered teen.**_

_** "Sure. I'll clear my schedule. You can even choose the venue." He offered completely unaware of the impending nightmare he was to partake. **_

_** "Okay. I know this place and…" the boy was cut off with sudden urgency.**_

_** "That would be great. I can't wait. I have to go. Bye." He quickly said as he resumed his planning for destruction of Britannia. **_

* * *

"Damn." He seethed as he clenched his teeth in frustration as the crowd hooted for more, and with no surprise, more dancers came out.

"Whatsch da matter buddy?" asked the teen looking him tipsily.

"Nothing. Rivalz, do you mind telling me why you chose this strip club as the venue." He sighed as he tried to not to use his Geass on the friend so that the boy would leave with him.

"Oh! I thought I told youuuu, buddy!" slurred the drunk as he grinned at the flushed boy beside him.

"No, Rivals you haven't." the annoyed one stated as he continued to throw daggers with his now strangely bright violet eyes.

_Note to self: NEVER __**EVER**__ LET RIVALZ CHOOSE THE VENUE!!!_ He thought as his migraine grew while he silently cursed his extremely low tolerance for alcohol.

"OHHHH!!!! Well… you schee buddy, some of da guys en I gschot into a bet. En…" continued the now drunken fool only to cut off by a murderous glare.

"A bet?! You dragged me here in this filthy hole because of a stupid bet!!!" he seethed as the he tried to stomp down the urge to kill Rivalz on the spot.

"Hey! Da betch nots stupid!!!" slurred the companion as he tried to justify his actions.

"I'll be the judge of that! What was it about?"he demanded not noticing the nearing crowd of dancers in his direction.

"Well…" he replied sheepishly as he avoided his angry friend's gaze.

"Spit it out, Rivalz!!!" commanded the companion as he fought the rising rage within.

"Okay, okay! Geez buddy, no need to getch ur panties in a bunch!" exclaimed the friend as he tried to remember what the bet was exactly about.

_ Pretend you did not just hear that._ he thought as he took deep breaths in search for a nice calm state of mind.

"Ohay! I remebur now! You schee buddy, the guys told me a theory! N I wanted to prove dem wrong!" grinned the friend as he eyed the women behind his friend awaiting the signal.

"What was the theory?" he asked calmly try to see the insane reason of Rivalz.

"That ur gay." The boy replied as he set off the first signal.

* * *

_**That ur gay.**_ The statement echoed as he struggled to gather with what remains of his shattered wits.

"I AM **NOT **GAY!!!"he exclaimed as a deep crimson shade over took the once ivory pallor while shaking off the remnants of shell-shock.

"Dats wat I told dem!!! But nooo… dey even said that ur habing an affair wid the new Eleben kid, Suzaku, whisch stupid! I mean, ur habing an affair with the red-head Kallen right?" probed the boy as he took a gulp of the beer.

_This is a nightmare._ He concluded as pinched the bridge of nose trying desperately not to strangle the blue-haired boy.

"Rivalz, I am not having an affair with Kallen." he stated as he took a swig of the beer bottle allowing the numbing effects to settle hoping for his throbbing head to stop.

"Oh. Shirley den?" probed the drunk while releasing a Cheshire smile.

It was right then and there, Lelouch vi Britannia swore he heard his temper and patience snap like a twig.

"NO! Shirley's just a friend!" he exclaimed as he slammed the bottle on the counter gaining some attention from the women behind him.

"Milly?" asked the boy rather shyly hoping it was a no.

"HELL NO!!!"he shouted finally initiating glitters of interest from those around him.

"So ur not involveduh wid ANYONE?" emphasized the drunken idiot.

"No." replied the exile prince, as he stood ready to leave the idiot.

"You sure ur not gay?" questioned the boy in a naïve way that made Lelouch want to kill him.

"Rivalz. For the last time. I AM NOT GAY!!!" he roared glaring at the boy.

"Good. So you won't hav no probleyhmo wid dish!" said the boy as his grin grew wide and mischief lighting his eyes.

"WITH WHAT?!" asked the already pissed teen.

"This." said the voice as he was pulled into a kiss by one of the strippers.

_____________________________________________________________________________________ He was in shock. He could not believe this is happening to him. First he was dragged into a suspicious look bar and against his better judgment allowed himself to stay. Then, he was accused of being homosexual and having an affair with his childhood friend. Now, he was being kissed by a stripper. A STRIPPER!!!

He couldn't move, shock had already taken its toll. But he did something that he'd possibly regret in his young life. He blinked just in time for a flash to go off.

"Way to go buddy! I'm sure da guys will believe me now!" exclaimed the drunk as he looked at the newly taken photo.

While the Lelouch was still in shock, his kisser slipped her tongue through his mouth and began to work her magic. The boy flinched at the sudden strange but pleasurable sensation, only to regret his foolishness once more when he swallowed a certain little pill that made everything hot and fuzzy.

"Well I'll let you enjoy da rest of ur night buddy. Take dish asa sign of thanks for helping me win da bet. N don't worry I'll tell Nunnally you stayed at my place so she won't worry. Give him the deluxe ladies!" he said as he saluted the drugged friend goodbye while letting off a chuckle at the girl's shrieks of agreement.

That night, Lelouch finally lost his virginity along with what was left of his honor when the prostitutes waved him goodbye and asking him come again soon as he tried to run away from the sheer reality that he actually participated in such a 'gathering'.

* * *

"Eh? I thought you were going to stay at your friend's house?" remarked the witch as he entered the room drenched and sweaty from his 'exercise'.

"Shut up and let me sleep, witch." Grumbled the boy as he fell on the bed.

"Ugh! You smell! Get off! If you want to sleep, sleep on the floor." She said showing some of her rare expressions of disgust while kicking him off the bed.

He was asleep before he even reached the floor. And as he slept he was completely unaware of how his friend and a certain blond stripper planned the robbing of his purity from out of sheer boredom and entertainment.

* * *

"Hey, Milly! Are you sure it was a good idea deviriginizing him like that?" asked the boy.

"It was for his own good. He'll lose it sooner or later anyway." smirked the blond as she took off her mask revealing a pair of mischievous orbs shining with glee and amusement. _____________________________________________________________________________________

**-END-**

A/N: **O.o** I can't believe I just wrote this! This is my first attempt to make a crack fic…the idea has been playing in my head for a while… review…and thank you for reading my fics… open to ideas and suggestions btw…

P.S. I don't own Code Geass… somebody else does and it isn't me…


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